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Chris Remo- not content with just writing about Video Games, thinking about Video Games, and casting pods about Video Games- also sings about Video Games in a selection of songs made to accompany the Idle Thumbs Podcast appearing less and less frequently.

  1. Wuxtry! (Let the Games Begin) - Love Theme from Idle Thumbs
  2. The Fanboy's Lament
  3. Ultra Boost
  4. The Fable of Love
  5. The Wizard
  6. Stop (Doing Interviews)
  7. Sincerely These Nuts
  8. The Ballad of John Riccitiello
  9. A Letter to Edge (demo version/first take)
  10. You Gotta Use the Kid (To Kill That Old Snake)
  11. Remember
  12. Space Asshole

LyricsEdit

Wuxtry! (Let the Games Begin) - Love Theme from Idle ThumbsEdit

Idle Thumbs
Games, video games, video games, video games
Video games, video games, video games, video games
Video games, video games, video games, video games
Video games, video games, video games, video games
Video games

The Fanboy's Lament Edit

For years and years and years
I played this series on my chosen console
Now I cry tears and tears and tears
Because the publisher couldn't manage self-control
And a rival manufacturer walked up with money rolls
Oh why didn't they conduct an online poll
On the forum where I post
Oh this hurts the most
My friends and countrymen, lend me your ear
I'm starting a petition
This web-based effort is exactly what we need
To bring our worthy cause some recognition
Why don't they understand
Our reasonable demands
Of what importance is the fiscal take
When integrity's at stake
They don't care about the gamers
No they're just a bunch of lamers
Take this as a warning, I won't buy your games anymore
I'll walk right past your boxes during my daily trips to the Gamestop store
This aggression will not stand, no you've lost your biggest fan
I've had enough of it, I've had enough of this platform-changing bullshit
This bottom-line mentality
This money-grubbing triviality
If the worthless sons of bitches who own the other system can play this game then what's the point at all
In warring for my console, if this is what it takes I'll take the fall
Who's with me, I'm quitting games forever
I'm leaving this pointless endeavour
Of maintaining platform superiority
All I ever wanted were games that are exclusive
And publishers who don't let money hats make them abusive to their fans
Who don't sell out to the man
And now I've dried my tears
And now I'm out of here
I'm through

Ultra Boost Edit

Ultra, Ultra, Ultra Boost
Hardcore
Game nourishment, yeah
Extreme flavors
Turn-based ranch
Third-person pineapple
German-style board game XBox Live arcade port churro
Yeah
Extreme
That's right
Video games
J. Allard
Wuxtry
Game on
Ultra, Ultra, Ultra Boost

The Fable of Love Edit

Girl, I met you passing through Bowerstone
Why can't we be alone
Just you and me without these 23 other villagers standing around
Don't they have other things to do
When I'm farting in your face for Peter Molyneux
Oh girl, our love is like a fable
Even though it smells a bit like a horse's stable
Because when I broke out in flatulent song
I went on a little too long
And I crapped my new sarong that my dog dug up with a condom
But back to you and me
And maybe us three
There's a housewife back in Oakvale that turned bisexual
My Russian dancing was quite effectual and I've acquired us a home
By killing the family who lived there before I busted down the door and left myself in
Yes I suppose that it's a sin
But I'll just fart around the town until I'm once again renowned
Oh girl, our love is like a fable
Even though I seem unable to communicate with you
But with my flexing, my caressing, with my farts, you will know what's in my heart
With my farts, you will know with my flexing, my caressing, with my farts, you will know what's in my heart
With my farts, you will know what's in my heart

The Wizard Edit

I heard that war has changed
But I always heard war never changes
I heard that war has changed
But in the end, it doesn't matter anyway
Because this is the dawning of a brand new day
Where it doesn't matter what you've heard
'Cause I'm the motherfucking wizard
The Wizard, a formidable wielder of arcane magics.  The Wizard engages his foes from afar, forgoing close combat in favor of powers far more arcane and inscrutable, including Spectral Blade, Improved Spectral Blade, and a magic missile so devastating you'll regret ever crossing paths with this rebellious foe.  The Wizard.
Wizard!
The Wizard!
The Wizard.

Stop (Doing Interviews) Edit

Señor Superdouche, stop doing interviews
And if I see one more Google Alert for Call of Duty 4
Because of an interview you did, I'll flip my lid
Please Señor S. Douche, stop doing interviews
Seriously man
You're killing me (you're killing me)
Interview about your own game, not ours (not ours)
Call of Duty: World of War can stand on its own merits (on its own), leave ours out of it
Like this gem of a quote from today's article on CVG (on the internet)
In the previous Call of Duties, it might take three or four shots, from a
From a bolt action rifle
And what the fuck are you talking about?  In previous Call of Duties, blah blah blah
You didn't work on previous Call of Duties
So don't talk as if you're, (just shut your face)
As if you're down with how slash why things were designed the way they were (you don't know anything about my shit)
And secondly, you're completely fucking wrong (oh snap)
And to the press, please stop talking to this guy
Talk to someone on the team
Or your interviews will be full of lies, Señor Superdouche
You're pulling shit out of your ass.  Stop.

Sincerely These Nuts Edit

WHAT THE FUCK JUST FACE IT ONE OF OUR FAVORITE GAMES HAS OFFICIALLY SOLD OUT, NOT IN STORES, BUT IN RATINGS.  THIS IS THE WORST GAME I HAVE BOUGHT!  WHAT'S REALLY FUCKED IS SOME OF US HAVE PAID UP TO 500 DOLLARS FOR A HIFIDEF GAME CONSOLE AND THEN GAME PRODUCERS ARE GOING TO PUT OUT A TWO-BIT OVERHYPED GAMES OUT AND CHARGE US 60 BUCKS A GAME!  I COULD HAVE SAVED MYSELF 560 US DOLLARS BY DIGGING OUT MY SEGA GENIUS AND THE ORIGINAL MK HAS MORE REALISTIC GRAPHICS AND MAYBE [unintelligible] THE NEW ONE WHERE FUCKING WHO KICKS LIKE THAT CHEESY? PROBABLY THE PRODUCER. AND IN THAT CASE HE NEEDS TO GET HIS ASS KICKED.  THE GAMEPLAY FEELS LIKE I'M PLAYING HUNGRY HUNGRY HIPPOS AND ROCK EM SOCK EM ROBOTS. THE OLD FONT LOOKS LIKE THE SAME FONT ON THE ORIGINAL APPLE COMPUTER AND ALL THE DC CHARACTERS ARE JUST OLD MK CHARACTERS! FLASH IS KUNG LAO GREEN LANTERN IS THE BLINDFOLDED FOOL, BATMAN IS CYRAX, DEATHSTROKE IS [unintelligible] KABAL, SUPERMAN IS REPTILE. TO THE NEW CREATOR OF THIS BULLSHIT I THINK YOU SHOULD FIRE YOUR WHOLE STAFF. AND START BACK FROM THE TOP, GO BACK TO ATARI, NO WAIT BETTER YET STICK TO POGS YOU [unintelligible] CHEAP OUT CHEAP ASS BASTARD I HOPE YOU CHOKE ON AN ACTION FIGURE.  SINCERELY, THESE NUTS.

So there's that.

The Ballad of John Riccitiello Edit

Over the last six fiscal quarters I tried to do my best as EA's CEO
I told my team we've got to go for more original IP
This many yearly sequels are not for me
And the press, the online forums did rejoice at our new games
We attracted fewer flames
We've had Crysis, Dead Space, Mirror's Edge, and Rock Band, that's a fun one
Spore and Valve's whole catalog, don't mention Hellgate London
We signed up id, Epic Games, even Grasshopper's involved
With all these great game studios, some day our past sins will be absolved
But wait what's this I see, is that the latest NPD
What's happened to our stock, it's falling like a rock, no Muwahahahaha!
Hello?
Muwahahahaha! Who's there ?  Bobby Kotick?
Yes it is I, the CEO of Blizzard Activision
I pump out yearly series with superhuman precision
Don't you see the error of your ways
You thought new IP was what the gamers want to play
No no that's wrong, they just want more of the same four brands to be explored
That is the way, you see, to profitability
Ha ha ha! That doesn't seem right
I thought with our standing we could be a light
For creativity and innovation while staying practical with Madden sequelization bringing yearly cash
It seemed so good
Developers, investors, the media and gamers
A business model we all can get behind
But after all this money spent and time
Look at us now
Hahahaha!  Oh come now. John you know quite well how profit can be turned (I do?)
Look into your past at methods you have spurned (You don't mean...)
You've been too close, you got attached to the games you are too kind (I don't mind)
To really get your money's worth, to take the longer view
There's one thing that always works and that's to add a 2 A 2?
2 3 4
Hey wait a minute, you're right, I've had it all wrong
These new games aren't one-offs, they're... they're...
Say it!
Franchises!
Go on...
Yeah, franchises!  I can see it now...
There's Dead Space 2 and Rock Band 3 and Crysis PSP
Hellgate London Conquest, how about Dead Space 3
Dead Space 3?
I've outsourced 2 to Singapore!
That's the spirit
I'm gettin' it
Yes
Mirror's Edge we'll do a little bit differently
We'll marry strong business with strong IP
What does that even mean, John?
I don't know, but it sounds fantastic
Ahahaha, glad to have you back my friend
Ahaha!  Yeah!  Hey what's this? Brutal Legend?
But I canceled...
This looks great!
No, you can't do that
See you, Bobby!
And so John Riccitiello charted a fiscal course for Electronic Arts free of the influence of Activision
But not even Pachter knows what the future holds
So say The Wizard

A Letter to Edge Edit

Look, we're not saying that we're right
We're just saying that you're wrong
With your quote unquote review of Killzone 2
Edge, you're desperate for attention
Yet barely worth a mention
Except to take attention with your desperate grab for hits
You gave Killzone 2 a 7
I wanted an 11 on our site
Our scale doesn't go that high but I had to try
And who are you to say Killzone 2 is a good game
It's not
It's a perfect video game
Oh it's a perfect video game
Yes it's perfect
You can't give Citizen Kane a 7
Everybody knows, just ask Roger Ebert
He would tell you that's a disgrace
Citizen Kane gets two thumbs up and therefore so does Killzone 2
The SDF said so
But I would give it three thumbs up
But I don't have three thumbs
So you can lend me one
And together three thumbs up for Killzone 2
Me and you giving Killzone 2 its due
But that leaves one
Idle thumb
Who thought this game was a little bit dumb

You Gotta Use the Kid (To Kill That Old Snake) Edit

Sometimes
Sometimes you're playin' a video game
Sometimes
There's a snake in the way
That old snake
But you can't use the old man to kill that snake, no no
That's a mistake
You can't use the old man to kill the snake
You gotta use the kid
You gotta use the kid to kill that snake
Use the kid
You gotta select the kid character to kill the snake
You gotta use the kid, use the kid
You gotta use the kid
Gotta use the kid to kill the snake
Use the kid
Gotta use the kid to get rid of that snake

Remember Edit

Do you remember when making games was still fun
Before the pessimism and the cynicism
Before the fear
How I wish those days were still here
How I wish those days were still here
Were still here
Do you remember when games weren't just packaged goods
When a packaged good meant a cloth map
Before the annual franchise traps, before the greed
Oh those times are just what we need
Yes those times are just what we need
What we need
Do you remember when budgets weren't quite so large
When indie and casual and core were on the same shelf at the store
They were one and the same
Oh how those times have changed
Oh how those times have changed
How they've changed
Do you remember when making games was still fun
Before the pessimism and the cynicism
Before the fear
How I wish those days were still here
How I wish those days were still here
Were still here
Were still here
Were still here

Space Asshole Edit

In 2125 I was on a mining colony on Mars
Just a quiet backwater facility among the stars
And then one day I was minding my own business
I was mining my own ore
And there he was
Space Asshole, in a truck flying off a ridge
Space Asshole, smashing through a bridge
And as he landed out came his hammer, smashed my boss right in the face
Space Asshole, planting charges left and right
Space Asshole, all he does is annihilate and fight
I didn't sign up for this, I just wanted to get away somewhere remote
Just a place where I could earn myself a day's pay without being smote
But every time I think I'm safe
Every time I think it's calm
I am wrong
Space Asshole, hammer swinging, buildings falling down
Space Asshole, laying waste to this entire town
All the rest are dead, Space Asshole has prevailed
Only I am left alive to tell the tale
Of Space Asshole, comes out of nowhere to destroy
Space Asshole, wanton carnage is all he can enjoy
Space Asshole, in a truck flying off a ridge
Space Asshole, smashing through a bridge
Space Asshole
Space Asshole
Space Asshole
He's the Space Asshole

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